we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
