how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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