we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
