Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
