yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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