If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
