you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize