Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
