so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
