We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
