There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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