Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
