do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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