No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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