You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
