hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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