What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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