I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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