So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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