Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We left an ass print on the piano.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
