You can't motorboat a personality
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize