I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
