Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize