Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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