Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize