I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
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If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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