is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
