Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
