a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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