Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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