As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
