CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
