But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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