I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
