my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
