I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
my poor anus
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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