i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
