y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
