I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
