The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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