I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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