Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
