i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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