i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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