True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
