hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize