Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
