Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize