Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't think brook has ever known best
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
