So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
