After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
