No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
my liver is dry heaving
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize