Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
