guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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