I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
