My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
