I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize