im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
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This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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