Swine flu. Run for my life!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
