when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
