I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
