So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
