You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
