I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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